You Can't Spoil Your Child through Love

Though we all worry about spoiling our child, rest assured that you cannot spoil your child with love. Love doesn't spoil children. Love is imperative to a child's healthy development, and it's just not possible to love your child too much. They need caring adults to spend time with them, play with them, teach them, protect them, and enjoy life with them. 

I may sometimes being hard on my eldest, but I believe that it's a parent's job to provide love, safety and encouragement. The process of growing up provides children with lots of challenges. Try to listen openly and understand their situation and communicate honestly with them when they have difficulties and letdowns in their life. 

Set appropriate limits with your child and then adhere to them. Establishing limits with your child gives them a sense of safety and security.  Sometimes parents do not set limits because they don't want to fight with their children. They don't want to cause bad feelings. They may beg a child to comply. Or they may make a rule and fail to enforce it. They may nag without ever enforcing the rules. None of these helps children. When your child fails to adhere or comply with the boundaries you've set for them, be firm yet kind in your response. This lets them know that you're serious about the rule but dedicated to helping and loving them.  Bear in mind though that each child is different and what works for one child may not work for another.  For example, one child may respond well to the direct approach of telling them a specific time to be home, where another child may need a gentle reminder that it's now time to come home.  

Develop a firm but kind manner of making and enforcing your household's rules and expectations. There's no need to fear our children, and there should be no need to instill a sense of fear in our children in order to get them to comply.  

Hobbies are Healthy For Your Kid/s

My eldest, Mikyla loves to collect dairies, journals or simple notes where she can write her daily activities,  Added to that, she also loves to collect books, pocketbooks. Her recent favorite are books written by Roald Dahl. 

Hobbies benefit children in many ways. It gives a child an opportunity to express themselves, and it allows them to discover themselves and build self-esteem. They are also great educational tools. A child interested in rock collecting learns about geology and science, and a child in writing stories learns about sentence structure and proper grammar. Hobbies teach children to set and achieve goals, solve problems and make decisions.  They can also set the course for what your child becomes later in life as they often turn into lifelong interests or careers.  

Children who have hobbies are usually following in their parents footsteps, so set a good example by pursuing your own hobby.  Your child will need space for their hobby, so find an area designated specifically for his hobby so he can work on it. Realize that hobbies can sometimes be quite messy, so be at the ready for messes as they come with the territory. 

Be available to your child to provide guidance, support and encouragement.  This is a great time to teach your child strong work habits, such as following directions closely, setting goals, and proper planning and organization.  Show them that nothing worthwhile is ever easy, especially when they begin to become frustrated with their progress.  It's also a good time to teach them about personal responsibility and show them how important it is to properly care for their work area and their 'tools of the trade.' 

Children will be more encouraged to work on their hobbies if activities like watching television or playing video games are limited.  It's been noted by experts that by age 15, the average child has spent more time watching television than sitting in a classroom.  Again, here's where setting a good example is crucial.  Instead of watching that four-hour football game on Saturday, turn the TV off and work on your own hobby.  Your child may want to join in or work on their own as a result. 

Hobbies are rewarding and enriching parts of our lives, so encourage your child to explore his own interests and find a hobby of their very own. 

The Whys of Whining

"Moooooooooooom!" 

It's irritating, it's frustrating and it gets on your last nerve. Though it's obnoxious and unacceptable, it's actually an effective for your child to get your attention. It's whining. But, like other bad habits, you can nip it in the bud early with a few simple strategies to teach your child there are other appropriate, effective forms of communicating with you. 

First, try limiting the situations that trigger it. Avoid extra errands when the kids are hungry.  Don't let them get involved in a frustrating game or project prior to bedtime. Pay attention when your child is talking, as sometimes whining is a reaction when a child feels you aren't giving them your full attention. Praise them for not whining and talking in a normal and understandable voice that allows you to fully understand what they are saying to you. 

When the whining begins, don't overreact. Keep your response simple, calm and neutral.  Ask your child to repeat the request in a normal tone. When giving in seems inevitable, don't delay. If you must finish the grocery shopping so you can put dinner on the table, for instance, and your child starts whining for a snack, offer something healthy right away. 

Once a limit has been set, parents should follow through. It's imperative that both parents are on board with this limit and fully follow through when the whining rule has been violated. 

If you have an older child that's developing a whining habit, suggest they come up with a solution to their perceived boredom or other voiced problem.  If you suggest possible alternatives, it might just prolong the child's whining. 

Sometimes whining can be the result of trauma and trouble in their life. A divorce, serious family illness or problems at school may be at the root.  Additional positive attention and quality one-on-one time may be just the medicine your child needs at a time like this. Your pediatrician can also suggest alternatives to curb whining should the positive attention and disciplinary actions be ineffective. 

Do As I Say and As I Do

Children learn to imitate at a very young age.  It's how they learn to behave, care for themselves, develop new skills, and communicate with others. From their earliest moments they watch you closely and pattern their own behavior and beliefs after yours. Your examples become permanent images, which will shape their attitudes and actions for the rest of their life. 

It's important to be responsible, consistent and loving with your child.  This also holds true for the relationship you have with your spouse, your parents, and other family members and friends that are also a part of your child's life.  Own up to mistakes when you make them, and communicate open and honestly with all family members.  

It's also important to take good care of yourself.  When we're focusing on what's best for our child it's easy to neglect our own needs.  Your child and your family are counting on you physically and emotionally, so it's imperative that you teach your child by example that taking care of yourself helps you to take care of them and the rest of your family.  This shows your child that not only do you love them and the rest of the family, but you love yourself as well.  This is an important step in teaching your child about self esteem.  This may involve getting a sitter and treating yourself out to dinner and a movie, or doing another favorite activity on your own.  This teaches your child that you are not only their parent, but your own person with your interests and needs, and also gives them a chance to show you how well they can do without you with them for a while. 

It's also important to nurture your relationship with your spouse.  Let your child see you communicate in a positive and healthy manner with one another, and show love and affection for one another so your child can begin to learn early on what a healthy marriage should be like.  

You'll soon see your child patterning many of his behaviors after your own.  So make sure that what you say and do around your child will help build a strong sense of security and self esteem.